ikhaya lam

Even the vet cried when I told her about Hannes . She'd spent so much time with him at the practice, she said. When he was first brought there as a foundling and again after the mauling incident - he became her after-hours companion. He even boarded for a weekend when he was between vaccinations and our usual kennels wouldn't take him. The veterinary staff knew him well, my little people-loving purr-machine. I had sent a message with a selection of photos to the receptionist after he died, but the news hadn't reached the vet, so it was left to me to break it to her this morning. Of course her wet eyes yanked at my own heartache and I came home with a lingering nostalgia, the longing reignited. Maybe it was too soon to get another kitten. He's not the same and I don't expect him to be the same. I deliberately chose a feline as different from Hannes as possible. Stoffel is a long-haired ginger kitten from Montagu whose owner is lea...

Wat is dit wat ek verloor het, wat ek in my arms gedra het en nou weg is? Wat in my hart was vir so 'n kort rukkie voor die leegheid teruggekom het? Ek moet die ding se naam uitvind sodat ek dit weer kan soek. Maar dis dalk nie iets wat mens kan voor streef nie. Dis dalk iets wat óf daar is óf nie.  My leegheid dra die vorm van 'n swart-en-wit katjie met lang beentjies en die vreeslikste liefde vir mense. Johannes , het Buurman hom genoem, "Djou Highness". Ou Hannessie, wat voor my uitgehardloop-spring het as ek sy naam roep kamer toe waar ons sy kossies weggesteek het vir die ander katte. Die purr-masjien wat my vyfuur soggens kon wakkerspin met sy entoesiasme vir nuwe daglig, wat moes eet die oomblik dat hy wakker word. Sy sagte katjielyf is wat my arms mis, die gat in my borskas dra sy vorm.  Ek raak afgesluit van die wêreld daarbuite. Dom. Stom. Dis nie moeilik hier in die kloof nie. Ek ignoreer eenvoudig emails, selfs die dringendes. Die gastehuisbeddens st...

dit brand soos ‘n pyl in my. Die mense sien daar niks nie van, en die Here alleen die weet wat ek ly. Die dae kom en die nagte gaan; die skadu’s word lank en weer kort; die drywerstem van my werk weerklink, en ek gaan op my kruisweg vort. https://gedigteboom.co.za/totius/o-die-pyn-gedagte/     I know at least seven women who have lost a child.    I, myself, managed to lose someone else's child.    "How do you do that?" I hear you ask.    You take in a six-year old when his mother's life falls apart and you keep him until he reaches high school, after which the arrangement becomes permanent and one day you realise you've become a single step-parent to a teenager. When you divorce his father many years later, you also lose the only "child" you'd ever known.    That is how you lose someone else's child.   It was not until I found Buurman that the possibility of a human baby crossed my mind. The Bulldog ...